17. I am really bad at instigating sex
by hannah
February 5th, 2010
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Winter Season (CHAPTER 4: MULTIPLE ORGASMS)
It’s seven-thirty in the evening and I’m just now driving home from San Bernardino County. I’m trying to unwind from a meeting with my boss and the developer we’re working with to build another perfectly sterile community. The meeting ran late because they couldn’t decide whether the color scheme for the new neighborhood should be lemon chiffon, lavender pink, and russet brown or cosmic latte white, tea green, and purple taupe. As if one or the other will improve anyone’s ability to find their house. I finally suggest we speckle the neighborhood with a little of both. They think I’m brilliant. This is why I get paid the big bucks.
It’s raining and all of Southern California is in shock—swerving, nervously pumping their brake pedals, and driving so slowly I’ll have another grey hair by the time I get home. One quick blow from a Lake Michigan ice storm is all it would take to wipe out half the population…and then I would never have to deal with the idea of tea-green stucco again. My phone rings, interrupting my twisted yet pleasing thought. It’s Jack.
“I’ve got problems.” Jack’s voice is pinched. “The Police Officer wants us to be monogamous.”
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