I hung out with Mr. Smyth last night. It was awesome! We didn’t even have sex. He told me he was starting to feel sick, and I thought, perfect opportunity to JUST hang out with him.
Fuck. I dig this guy. Like I REALLY dig this guy. It makes me scared. I haven’t dug someone like this since…The Ex? Here’s the scary part though, it wasn’t like this with The Ex. Or Maybe it’s just so different with Mr. Smyth.
I think I’m freaking out because I really don’t know how he feels about me, and I am loving everything about him. He’s not perfect, no one is. It’s just weird because I haven’t had such a huge emotional connection to someone since The Ex, but probably more like Warner, where it was just bliss all the way through. Well, until the end.
I just feel so compelled to completely absorb him. And then I think, maybe I’m just rebounding, or maybe he’s rebounding.
Every time I see him, I dig him more. That’s scary. Makes me worried I’m getting all caught up in a guy that maybe doesn’t feel the same way. But he’s calling, we talk on the phone, probably every other day, and we talk forever.
So last night, no sex. The sex is AMAZING, and I was starting to think: what if this is just a sex thing for him? So I showed up with my hair in a bun and in sweaties, and gave him a peck on the cheek. Then we just snuggled up, first on the couch to watch Sling Blade, and then in bed. Instead of making out, we made tea. He was so affectionate all night, and this morning, started kissing and massaging my back—but no sex. God, I am totally fucking digging this guy! So good, but so freaky.
OK, gotta jet, on my way to Lola’s.