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At the last SLH Book Club meeting…

Posted by on Feb 22, 2011 in Book News | 0 comments

Blush-Night

Well, let’s see…it was kind of mayhem:) People were getting stuck on the 405, arriving late, canceling, but whatever happened or didn’t happen, we all had some fun, did a little shopping, talked about everything from squirting to marriage, and I got to read from Sex, Life, & Hannah, which is always a privelege. Plus I got to wear a crazy little dress I would have never even batted an eye at before I started getting girlified.

Thank you so much Blush Boutique in Encino for hosting and providing the amazing martinis and snacks, and super huge thanks to my good friend, loyal supporter, and trusty helper @Sugarcurlz.

Where would we be in this world without good friends…

Blush-Night-3

All the pics here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sexlifeandhannah/sets/72157625982756069/

And now, back to the business of writing, and getting this third Sex, Life, & Hannah book done.

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For Love, Money, or Friendship

Posted by on Feb 18, 2011 in Relationships and Sex | 0 comments

Last night at the SLH Book Club meeting I was reading an excerpt from Chapter 10:

I always believed in “The One”: your one true love, your soul mate, your other half who completed you. I believed we were like penguins, who mated for life and died suddenly when the other didn’t return from a hunting mission. I didn’t believe that being with The One was always perfect: birds chirping, flowers blooming, and rays of sunshine; but I believed it lasted forever.

Walking out of that elevator at nearly two in the morning, I felt this great belief of mine shattering. Maybe there wasn’t such a thing as The One…or maybe I hadn’t met him yet.

After I finished, this girl said, “That’s why I don’t believe in marrying for love, I believe in marrying your best friend.”

She went on to talk about how she and her boyfriend were first friends, how she wasn’t even interested romantically in him, but how over time, she came to value and respect the friendship so much they became lovers, and now, she feels that logically it makes sense to marry him, “we can do nothing together, and it’s great.”

Was there passion?

“You can create passion,” she replied.

Her logic was not necessarily wrong. Love could be emotionally taxing. My parents married for love, and they were largely dysfunctional. And passion…yes, it was all in your head, and whether you could turn it on and off…there were definitely certain variables you could control.

Everybody gets married for different reasons depending on where they are in life and what they want out of life in that moment. I could have married for money and I could have married my best friend, but I always wanted to marry for love because I believed that true love conquered all. Six years into my relationship and five years into my marriage with hubbie I can honestly say that it’s better to throw all logic out the window.

I know I’ve been spouting about this for like a week, and probably because it’s been weighing heavy on my mind, but there’s an x-factor in relationships and it’s called “change”. Nothing stays the same; people change, circumstances change, expectations change, and you’re always evaluating everything in your life based on how you feel. So you can marry for whatever reasons feel right and “logical” at the moment, and you may stay true to those reasons ‘til death do us part, but there are no guarantees.

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It’s true I’ve sort of disappeared…

Posted by on Feb 15, 2011 in The Dentist and The Toothfairy | 0 comments

My dearest Jerome,

I can’t believe what a flake I’ve been to you, of all people. You who has never let me down, you who always comes through in the eleventh hour, you who accommodates me so much…

But I haven’t been myself the last few months. Or maybe I’ve been going through some kind of transformation, not to be a flake, god I hope not.

I can’t explain it or really put my finger on it. I feel my productivity is slipping away, like I can’t seem to get even the easiest of tasks done. I’m not good at being a housewife. I shop too much. And I keep thinking I need a vacation, but I’ve sort of had several now, and it hasn’t seemed to help.

I can’t find a well-paying job, this one client that was supposed to give me ALL this work bailed, so I’m back to, I don’t know, blogging I suppose, and twittering, and really trying to write, although my efforts have been going to the third Sex, Life, & Hannah book lately, which is so ridiculous when I only have three pages to go with Lila, but I can’t seem to finish. I want to finish, I have ideas of how to finish, but now this whole Sex, Life, & Hannah thing…

Thank you for doing without the pictures, what is your website now? I want to check it out, and twitter about it. God, if the social networking doesn’t kill me, this new reality TV show I’ve been asked to do just might. Yes, reality TV. I should tell you the details over the phone, but in a nutshell: they want female writers to write about their life, relationships, sex, experiences, love. It’s weird, I’m sort of doing all that anyway, but this would be more personal, and more public all at the same time, and my parents may really disown me. But what’s life if you don’t take any risks?

Hubbie has sort of signed off on the whole thing. Sort of. He’d really much rather I don’t drag our private life through the mud, but I keep telling him: we can be better and smarter than the Kardashians. Although who knows if that’s what America really wants. Do they want better and smarter, or do they just want hot ass? And sex tapes? Not that there’s anything wrong with any of that, but it’s not what I’m about.

I’m still going to send you the pictures. Tonight. I’m doing it. Just in case. And I will finish Lila, though, I’m not going to give myself any timelines. For fear of looking like a flake again.

Love, love, love, and happy 2011 my dearest jerome, xoxoxo, D:)

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Vday.

Posted by on Feb 14, 2011 in Life and Style | 0 comments

vday-love

I have mixed feelings when it comes to Vday. It’s good to celebrate love, where would we be without it? But I think if you really love someone, you express it every day, by doing the small things, like saying “I love you”, or making them dinner because you know they’re coming home late, or holding their hand when you go for a walk, or taking care of them when they’re sick, or just talking and listening when they need you. Love is not a one-day gesture, it’s a daily committment.

Valentine’s Day is not always the romantic holiday Hallmark wants us to believe it is. We don’t always get to spend it finding the true love we lost, or getting back together with the one we love, or even with the one we thought we could temporarily replace him with. In fact, most of us spend the holiday with soaring expectations that get annihilated by mediocre manifestations. It’s more often than not a painful holiday, and not just because we’re being tortured and beheaded for believing in love. Maybe it’s that we finally realize we’re going about it all wrong—looking for love with all the wrong intentions and in all the wrong places.”-ch.6

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Do I, can I, should anyone believe in love?

Posted by on Feb 11, 2011 in Life and Style | 0 comments

love

I’ve been asked to fill out an application form to be on a reality TV show about love. Here is my answer to the question: Do I, can I, should anyone believe in love?

Love? Oh it’s out there and very real. Scary real. Love takes control of your body and your mind and makes you think crazy thoughts, like: I hope he accidentally knocks me up. And when he doesn’t, it makes you do crazy things…like get married. There’s no logic, there’s just passion, and lust. And there’s a real biology behind the whole love thing; it’s not just a figment of our imagination. Nature wants us to fall in love; wants us to keep propagating the species, that’s why falling in love, and being in love, gives us a dopamine fix straight to where it counts the most. There are other chemicals involved too, but it’s the love dope that keeps us intrigued, wanting more, and seeking out that penis thrill ride over and over again.

You know that song “The Thrill is Gone”? That’s the part of love they never prepare you for. When you fall in love, you feel like you hit the fucking jackpot. You get along so well, have so much fun together, like the same things, and the sex…omg…you’re fucking like rabbits, experiencing multiple orgasms, and you really do think: holy shit, I finally found him, this is it, ‘til death do us part. So you say the vows, and even though they scare the shit out of you, you believe in them. You believe in the “us”. Until something changes, or doesn’t change the way you think it should, and suddenly you find yourself more frustrated than in love. All that passion, all that dopamine, suddenly gone, with a snap of a finger, except you can’t really put your finger on any one thing that made it stop.

So yes, love is real. But it can also be a lot of work, and it doesn’t necessarily last forever. It changes over time, and you hope the reasons to stay together outnumber the reasons to not, but there are no guarantees.

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