In keeping with last night’s discussion about bad emails guys send to girls on the Art of Charm with @dzubak on Sirius 108 XM 139, here is the one I read on the air:
I happened to end up at The Red Fox Room last night and of course thought of you. Shirley, the lady with the white hair who plays piano, is retiring. Do you remember the guy who looked really funny when he sang, but was so into it you had to smile? He was there and I asked him why it was so crowded and he gave me the scoop. Anyway, tonight’s her last night and all the locals from all the years are going to be there, including me. I just thought I would let you know. If you get this in time you should definitely come check it out. It’s the end of an era.
Hope things are going great for you.
Why do I put this email in the bad category? Because a couple months prior this guy broke up with me, because he wasn’t “ready” for a relationship. But now he’s thinking about me? And hopes I’ll casually show up where he’ll be? I think you all know what’s going on here. It’s cryptic and screams: I’d sure like to fuck you again. Even though I’m still not ready to be in a relationship with you. While on the one hand it’s flattering, if you know the girl is interested in more than just banging you every now and then, this is just fucking with her head.
Here is another one I got via email, unfortunately not in time to read on the air:
Thought that was you, we were on our fourth date. Some girls make it past the first.
What an asshole. This girl wrote to me that she and this guy went on one date, and then every time they were supposed to go out again, he’d come up with an excuse. A month later she saw him out with another girl, and she knew he noticed her. Later that night, she received the above email. She tells me she was apalled and didn’t bother responding but thought: if it’s your fourth date, why the fuck are you emailing me at 1:30 in the AM instead of fucking your fourth date girl ?!?!
Gentlemen here are some email don’t rules:
1. Don’t email regarding something important or serious.
2. Don’t email crass or crude comments, and that includes pictures of your body parts.
3. Don’t email cryptic shit that sends mixed messages or toys with someone’s emotions.
4. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t be an asshole via email.
5. Don’t beg, sound desperate, or try to guilt someone into going out with you via email.
p.s. thank you @avflox for hooking me up with Art of Charm.
p.p.s the show will re-broadcast again tonight at 5PM PST on Sirius 108 XM 139.