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Stormy Week

Posted by on Dec 7, 2012 in Life and Style | 0 comments



It’s been a stormy week, and I’m not just talking about the weather out here in typically beautiful LaLa Land. With another year about to close I’ve been doing that reassessing thing again. Where is my career going? Where are my creative aspirations headed? What is going on with my marriage? Do I have a realistic five year plan? It doesn’t help we have to move, and that I’m still not pregnant. Why is it that right now I would be so much more assured about everything if I had a house I could call a home and a baby on the way? It’s probably “the age” thing, and the fact that everyone else around me seems to be doing those things; babies, new jobs, buying houses. I don’t want to say things aren’t coming together for me at all, because they are. Like a new client that should be some stable income for a couple of years, and an old client that still loves me enough to keep throwing work my way, and my books are actually selling more now than ever before, and I’m working on a new book project that I’m both scared and excited about because it’s kind of new territory for me.

It’s probably the argument we had last night, or the tension since Monday, over the whole fantasizing-about-somebody-else-while-having-sex-with-your-partner thing. That was an interesting debate. Actually more interesting on my Facebook feed. For us, it was just another stone to throw, in a comical kind of way of course, but still, I know it made both of us wonder, is this really how it’s supposed to be? Why can’t it be more like it was in the beginning, when even the thought of someone else seemed completely ludicrous? And then last night. Why is it so wrong for me to want to have everything figured out before the end of the year? I’m tired of waking up January 1st of whatever New Year and feeling like it’s not the start of something new. Is it so wrong for me to want to know that we’re driven enough to get real jobs so that we can get a real house, and that we’re healthy and genetically compatible enough to have kids?

I’m not a patient person. I never have been. I admit this as a weakness of mine. I wish I could be one of these people that could always live in the moment; enjoy everything as it is right now and not think about the next step. I know it’s a better way to be because when I consciously make the effort to be this way, it feels better. Of course it also feels like more effort, but there is that Zen; that peace of mind in not caring about the unknown and just being grateful for everything that is around me right here, right now, because tomorrow it will be gone or altered in some way, which may not be better or worse…just different. I know I have a lot to be grateful for, regardless of everything else that I want and don’t have at this exact moment.

I remember when he and I first got together. I had nothing to write in my journal because it was such bliss. And then I thought, what’s wrong with writing about bliss? Why is it so much easier for me to write about the pitfalls than it is the blessings? Maybe it’s the Eastern European in me. There’s a kinship in the bitching. But anyway, I remember making the effort to write weekly about the good stuff, just the good stuff. Oh it wasn’t nearly as dynamic, but it felt good to have that on record. The good stuff. The stuff to be grateful for.

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Dark Matter

Posted by on Nov 14, 2012 in Life and Style | 0 comments


photo: Esquire, Jonnie Miles via Getty Images

Check out the 79-word story I wrote for Esquire’s short fiction contest. The story didn’t make their cut. Do you think it should have?

He makes me climax. Like no one else. He runs his tongue along the edge of my areolas, and plucks my nipples with his deft fingers, biting at them when they turn hard like erasers. He’s methodical. Like a scientist should be. And has provided dissertations on how third cousins share barely any genetic material.  But I can’t think straight enough around him to worry the family might suspect. My sacrum perspires, my hips burn for another forceful touch. 

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September Must Have: The Raven

Posted by on Sep 14, 2012 in Life and Style | 0 comments


I’ve been off the yoga track for a couple months, which can easily happen when you move to a new neighborhood. Los Angeles is one of those cities that is challenging to get around. Nobody wants to take public transportation, carpooling is difficult because everyone seems to be on a different schedule, and the traffic is maddening, especially on a Friday. Suddenly your old favorite haunts feel impossible to get to, and you are forced to replace them with new ones. And I needed to get back to yoga. After ten years of practicing, yoga has become my emotional, spiritual, and physical reprieve. A time for me to breathe and put things into perspective; take some of that edge off that you accumulate so easily when you’re living in a big city, when you’re a business owner, when you’re wondering if you’ll ever get pregnant, when you’re trying to become a New York Times Best Selling Author…

Like most things in my life, I stumbled upon The Raven. I think I was driving to a friend’s house that lives on the other side of the “lake”, and drove past a sign in front of a cottage-like structure that made me curious. A little internet research revealed it was a yoga studio and spa, and I decided it was going to be the first place I try, if only because the name was really cool, but really it has more to offer than just a cool name. The Raven is a beautiful, quaint oasis, inside and out. One of those places where once you step in, you don’t want to leave, and you wish you had a good book and cup of tea to curl up with for hours on one of their comfortable patio chairs, or on a hot day like today, an ice cold juice. The yoga classes I’ve tried so far aren’t crowded or hard core, which is exactly the type of head space I’m in right now. I haven’t tried the spa portion yet, but I plan on doing so for my birthday…The Rock Star…sounds like the perfect birthday treat for a city girl.

Stay cool out their kitties, have a fabulous weekend, and take a moment out of your busy schedule to breathe.

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Living in the Moment

Posted by on Aug 21, 2012 in Life and Style | 0 comments


Hello lovely people…I know it’s been a while. But I decided to slow my pace after finishing the Sex, Life, & Hannah Summer Season. I decided to enjoy my new place in Silver Lake, read some books (a.k.a. Fifty Shades of Grey), watch some Apple TV (a.k.a. Gossip Girl), visit with some friends (old and new), go to the beach, go glamping, and just live in the moment, which at times has felt a lot more exotic than my summer vacation to Europe last year.

I also decided to get away from Hannah. Look at my writing more as a journey than something I’m constantly judging. So I entered Esquire’s short short fiction contest, and am working on a short script to submit to this contest for W Hotels. Thinking of new characters has been invigorating, using Final Draft has felt a little alien, wanting to win something has given me a drive that usually only a solid tennis game or zipping down a mountain on skiis gives me. And though I can’t say I won’t be disappointed if the outcomes aren’t judged in my favor, at least the journey now feels a smidgen broader.

As for me and hubbie:  of course I am still on a quest to figure out whether passion can truly exist with someone you’ve known for more than five years, and why we can’t seem to manage sex more than once a week, and whether changing our relationship status to “open” would help any of that, or getting pregnant, which I am still not. But in the spirit of trying to live in the moment, it has been nice to look at him—not past him, and experience him—not rush him, in the way I did when we first met.

And because when I went to my very first Los Angeles Romance Authors meeting last Sunday several people commented on how fabulous my outfit was, and the topic of the month happened to be blogging, and then I received a couple suggestions about how I should blog about my outfit, I decided a picture of it would be the perfect accoutrement to this post.

The summer is starting to wind down lovely people, breathe in every last succulent ray of it, and try, even if only for one day, to live in the moment.

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June Must Have: Sunglasses and Erotica

Posted by on Jun 15, 2012 in Life and Style | 0 comments


Vintage Fendi Sunglasses courtesy of The Ex, Clare Vivier clutch courtesy of The Guise Archives

There’s all sorts of talk of erotica these days…as if it’s some new found thing. As if women haven’t been pleasuring themselves to the likes of Anais Nin, Anne Rice, and Jackie Collins since they figured out how great it feels. I know I’m not the only one, even if I probably started reading this type of titillating literature younger than most. The written word enables us to escape into our most elaborate fantasies, for as long as we can handle it, and much better than a movie, and this is nothing new.

The first time we were in bed together he held my hands pinned down above my head. I liked it. I liked him. He was moody in a way that struck me as romantic; he was funny, bright, interesting to talk to; and he gave me pleasure.

The second time he picked my scarf up off the floor where I had dropped it while getting undressed, smiled, and said, “Would you let me blindfold you?” No one had blindfolded me in bed before and I liked it. I liked him even better than the first night and later couldn’t stop smiling while brushing my teeth: I had found an extraordinarily skillful lover.

The third time he repeatedly brought me within a hairs-breadth of coming. When I was beside myself yet again and he stopped once more, I heard my voice, disembodied above the bed, pleading with him to continue. He obliged. I was beginning to fall in love.

The fourth time, when I was aroused enough to be fairly oblivious, he used the same scarf to tie my wrists together. That morning, he had sent thirteen roses to my office. – Nine and a Half Weeks by Elizabeth McNeill

A caveat: this particular book is not so much about the skills of a lover as it is about how dangerous it can be sometimes to find that exact “thing” that turns you on. It is much more emotionally intense than the movie, which now seems like a frivolous romp in comparison.  Regardless, what woman has not fantasized about finding that extraordinarily skillful lover…

This June, indulge yourself in finding that thing. But start slowly and carefully. Grab your favorite pair of sunglasses, escape outside for lunch, when the sun is burning, and immerse yourself in an erotic novel. So that you can spend the rest of the day thinking about what it would be like to repeatedly be brought within a hairs-breadth of coming.

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May Must Have: High-Low Hems

Posted by on May 10, 2012 in Life and Style | 0 comments


The Odylyne Mini Barbet Dress is one of my favorite spring/summer wardrobe additions. It’s so perfect for just about anything. Brunch, happy hour, shopping, partying.. literally, anything! 

Those of you that pop onto my blog every now and then I am sure have noticed that aside from my love for relationship, sex, and book talk, my other two obsessions are music and fashion. And this is something me and Sasha Jones of LAInspiration can definitely bond over.

Here is Sasha’s Must Have for May:

When Dorota asked me to do this month’s Must Have my first thought was, “What have I been wanting lately?” and my mind immediately went to one thing: high-low hems. They are literally everywhere. And I gotta be honest, at first I wasn’t feeling this trend at all. It just seemed weird to me. Either you want a mini skirt or a maxi skirt, how can you combine the two? Well, my question has been answered…in a really awesome way. Now, not only am I seeing high-low hems on skirts, but I’m seeing dresses and tops too and I’m officially in love.

High-low hems are perfect for the girl who wants to show off some skin, but not too much skin, and rock a flowy bohemian look. Flowy? Bohemian? Um, yes please. Here are some high-low pieces I’m currently rocking…and coveting.

The Alamo Mullet Skirt by Our Prince Of Peace is on my current must-have list. The colors and the print? I’m sold. 

Ok, this Sleeveless Lace Insert Shirt from Topshop is everything. I love the grungy 90s vibe it gives off, and I can’t help but imagine rocking it with faded black denim, a red flannel wrapped around my waist, and a pair of Doc Martens.

What do you think of the high-low trend? Do you already have some pieces in your closet?


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