For the most part I really truly believe that you are the controller of your destiny. That even if there is this predetermined path you’re supposed to tread, in the end you always have a choice. Like if a psychic warned you about your impending death in a car accident, you could start refusing to get into cars, and thereby change that fate.
But this whole getting-married-to-Metal-Guy thing, which has turned into an ordeal, is starting to make me believe otherwise.
I have received so many signs that our marriage is doomed, but yet, I still want to do it. Everything from tarot cards, to number games, to flipping coins are all foretelling of a disastrous outcome to our union, but I refuse to change my mind and break it off.
This is making me believe that either I am hard core in love, retarded, or that there really is a greater power that controls everyone’s destiny. And regardless of how much warning you get, when it’s your destiny, you can’t do anything to change it.
Maybe if you could change your destiny it would fuck up the world too much. Like maybe I’m supposed to marry Metal Guy, not for the right reasons, but because we’ll eventually have a child that will change the world, and if we don’t get married and don’t have this child, the nations will crumble, the sky will fall, the oceans will dry up, anarchy will ensue, and the world will go up in flames.
So if we really all have a destiny, and we really have no control over it, then I guess we all just need to stop freaking so much, stop worrying so much, stop trying to predict our future, and start enjoying the fucking ride.