Posted by on Apr 27, 2011 in Relationships and Sex | 0 comments

Last night, me and hubbie had dinner with a friend who’s been married for something like twenty years, has four kids, and still raves about humping her husband. She, like my other friend, who’s going on something like fifteen years of sexual bliss with her husband, saved herself for marriage, i.e. her future husband popped her cherry. Now I know I’ve only documented two cases so far, but I wonder if I went on some quest, and asked more married women whether they lost their virginity to their future husbands, if I would notice a trend. Could it be that happiness in sexual monogamy is directly linked to how many lovers you’ve had? And, if you spent your formative years romping around with every opportunity that came knocking, could one man ever then satisfy all your sexual cravings?

Saving myself for marriage was something I never considered a good option. I actually thought the idea rather ludicrous. As soon as I started becoming aware of what sex was, I thought the thing to do was experience as much of it with as many different people as possible; you know, sort of like, get it all out of your system before you settled down and got married. I thought this made the most sense, because I only ever imagined the horror of saving yourself ’til your wedding night, only to find out something didn’t work right, and then what would you do? Test driving before purchasing just seemed so logical. But now I’m wondering if all the test driving I did somehow conditioned me into being one of those people more comfortable with turning in three-year leases than actually purchasing something more long term.

I’m sure, just like with everything, there are a lot of variables, and there is definitely no exact science when it comes to love and sex (well, there is some science). If I had saved my virginity for some special relationship, moment, someone, maybe I wouldn’t be dealing with sexual and emotional quandaries right now…or maybe I still would. Nevertheless, I guess the theory I’m starting to formulate from all this is, if you reallywant to end up happy in a monogamous relationship, maybe you shouldn’t spend your early years slutting around…