Hey! Interested in making your life a bona fide hell, where every step you take is sized up for ridicule by a disgruntled bitch and her entire posse? Then sleep with your friend’s ex! I’m serious about this one, ladies. While our forefathers fought for our right to whatever one-night stand we so choose, this is an instance where we might want to exercise a bit of guarded liberty.
Sure, it may seem like a good idea in the heat of the moment. You’re nursing him through a breakup of epic proportions, drowning his sorrows—and your moral compass—in a bottle of Grey Goose at a local dive bar. Woes soon turn to giggles, which turn to sexy whispers, which turn to you emerging from the ladies’ room and handing him your crumpled up panties. “Let’s blow this joint,” you say like a woman possessed.
And your night of released tension—pent up for three long years, as you watched him hold your BFF’s purse while she tried on jeans at Macy’s—is everything you imagined and more. It feels forbidden, yet ten times better because you know it’s technically not. The entire day after, you’re on top of the world…until you get a call. From your BFF. Distraught out of her effing mind.
Fun fact: Friends’ exes likely still function in the same circles. Another fun fact: Dudes love to run their mouths about whom they’ve banged, especially when they’re rebounding. Fun bottom line: Your friend WILL find out eventually. And it ain’t gonna be pretty.
Whether you fancy keeping the friendship or not is beside the point. A scorned woman’s wrath goes far beyond a broken friendship. A scorned woman will go to the ends of the Earth to ensure that you’re hurting just as much as she is. We all know this is true—we’ve all been scorned women.
So, the question you must ask yourself is this: Is it worth it? Is it worth the silent treatments, the dirty looks, the rumors spread, and the drunken text curse-outs? More importantly, is it worth making someone feel more alone than ever before and totally betrayed? Think about how Hannah felt when she caught her boyfriend in bed with her own sister…no wonder they have issues!
The choice is entirely yours. If this man is your soul mate, you might not mind weathering the shit storm. But if he’s just a shiny thing you were dying to try on for size, then I’m with 67% of voters—don’t go there.
Jenni Perez authored the 2008-2009 edition of the popular sex issues column, “The Wednesday Hump,” in UC Santa Barbara’s Daily Nexus. When she’s not contributing her thoughts about the trials of modern romance, she devotes much of her effort to sustainable living and recording music.