So…I’m not exactly sure what compelled me to watch Jershey Shore on Saturday night. But here’s what I took away from it: getting stupid drunk will NOT land you the man of your dreams. I don’t care how fly you think you are, or how much money you’re getting paid to make an ass of yourself on television–don’t do it. Be a lady. A good, stable, respectable man with long-term potential will not take seriously a girl that can’t hold herself together (yeah, really, they’re not laughing with you, they’re laughing at you). And one more thing: if you’re going to wear a dress that barely covers your ass, wear more than a piece of string between your cheeks.