Posted by on Aug 6, 2010 in Relationships and Sex | 0 comments


Q. Dear Dr. Sex, what are best sex positions for a woman if she wants to experience the Big O?

A. Ah…the infamous “Big O”. Many have had one, and many are still searching for their el Dorado.

As with most things sexual, orgasm involves a combination of things: How horny you are, how well you know your body, and how comfortable you are with sexual expression. And for women, there’s the external/internal factor.

The external pleasure girls out there favor their clitoris being stimulated, and one of the best positions out there for that is female superior (a.k.a. cowgirl). You’re on top, the man is on the bottom lying down, and you’re in the driver’s seat. You control the depth of penetration, speed, angle of penetration (lean forward, lean back, or sit higher or lower), and clitoral stimulation. You can touch your clitoris with your fingers or lean forward and grind your clitoris into his pelvic bone. A lot of us know the clitoris packs a punch with nerve endings (about 8,000), but most don’t realize the mons pubis (pelvic/pubic hair region) has the second most number of nerve endings in the female vulva. [private_SLH Book Club]So grinding that clitoris and pubic region against your man is a one-two punch for a lot of women. A tip for all you pubic shaving darlings out there: Just like you can’t stand our sandpaper face scratching up your thighs when we go down on you, be aware a stubbly pubic region and grinding can carve us up as well. Also, you can heighten the fun by applying some lube for better gliding, warming lube for an extra kick, and a vibrating cock ring for the ultimate ride.

A second position that’s usually a favorite for the clit is male superior: Classic missionary. This one combines the pelvic to pelvic pressure again, but with a psychological twist. Many women embrace their submissive sides and like the psychological turn on of having a man on top. A tip for men: Veer away from the jackhammer you learned whilst studying porn, and penetrate in and out with shallow strokes while applying pressure to her clitoris/mons pubis with your pubic bone. A PhD in rhythm and dancing isn’t required, but can’t hurt. Feel free to also touch the clitoris during intercourse or use a vibrating toy for additional pleasure. Vibrators don’t have to be played with alone.

Internal stimulation most often refers to g-spot playtime, but some women experience deep internal orgasms near the cervix and beyond. Here’s a variation of the popular missionary position that can really hit the spot: Place one or two pillows underneath your hips as you lie down. This will push your pelvis upwards, giving you a position that exposes the upper wall of your vagina (g-spot) to a penis. For the gymnast types, moving your feet closer to your head will expose the g-spot even more. Keep in mind this position also makes for deeper penetration. The guy needs to make sure the angle he is penetrating at is slightly upward so his penis is sure to provide the most pressure to the upper wall throughout the stroke. Speaking of strokes, try long penetration stokes so the head of the penis can hit the G-spot, which is about an inch and a half from the opening of the vagina.

Another great position to maximize G-spot stimulation is rear entry position (a.k.a. doggystyle). And when a female positions her head lower than her pelvis, the G-spot becomes even more pronounced. If a male penetrates in a slightly downward angle, the two together can make wonderful internal orgasm music. I think I heard the same advice in a hip hop song once, “head down, ass up…”. Also, for any angle of penetration, the curvature of the penis is something to take into consideration.

Remember, orgasm isn’t just about positions, techniques, and angles; it takes good communication, creativity, and the freedom to let passion and pleasure lead the way. So whether you’re dating, married, or having a one-night stand, you need to create the right mood and environment for the mind-blowing, earth-shattering, and spine-tingling Big O.

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Dr. Sex, better known as Dr. Hernando Chaves in Beverly Hills, is a Psychotherpist and Clinical Sexologist. He can be reached at or 310.749.5777.