From a response to my sister:
Having an orgasm?
It all comes down to figuring out what gets you off.
For me it started with romance novels, by accident. I was twelve, and I wanted more grown-up reading material. I had no idea romance novels were so…dirty. But reading all those prolonged, and usually illicit, love scenes got my body excited, even though I couldn’t quite figure out how.
At thirteen, to figure out the “how”, I decided to buy a Cosmopolitan magazine that promised to reveal all the secrets behind having an orgasm. To this day, just sitting back in a tub and letting the water run over my vagina, is good ol’ reliable. And vibrators, yes, but I didn’t have one for a very long time.
Sex and sexuality requires a lot of exploration; by yourself, with a partner, or several. Yes, it’s intercourse, but there’s an emotional aspect to it as well. What turns you on? What get’s you wet? If you figure out the answers to those questions you will be several steps closer to having an orgasm because when you’re really turned on you can’t help but move, or touch yourself, or clench your vaginal muscles… When you’re mentally turned on, your physical side starts to do the things it needs you to do to get that release; it’s reflex.