Kissing my gay neighbor. Again.

From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Spring Season (CHAPTER 12: POST-EJACULATORY REMORSE)

I’m sitting next to Clark at the Pink Bear, getting drunk.

“It’s my face isn’t it?” I slap my hand down on Clark’s forearm. “He doesn’t want me because something’s wrong with my face!”

After leaving Mr. Smyth’s house, I called in sick. I didn’t sleep at all, and couldn’t eat. So I staggered through the day drinking coffee, re-examining every detail of our date a hundred times, wishing I could take back the “B-word” portion of it. I was convinced I’d still be bathing in afterglow if only I could erase that part.

As soon as I’d heard a car pull into the front house, I’d run across the yard and told Clark we needed to go out.

“Oh my god, no!” Clark recoils, aghast. “You’re as gorgeous as ever! Even more so with your saucy new makeup.” Beaming, Clark cradles my face in his hands.

I’ve been pouring my heart out to Clark for over an hour, and for over an hour he’s been reassuring me that I’m still the cat’s meow. But I need to hear more.

“You don’t think my nose has shifted left?” I down the rest of my vodka soda and order up another.

“Absolutely not!” Clark leans in. “That man is a fool for breaking your heart, and mark my words: He will regret it for the rest of his life.”

Clark is such a good friend, and he’s saying all the right stuff…except it wasn’t supposed to end like this. Mr. Smyth wasn’t supposed to be regretting anything, and I wasn’t supposed to be wallowing over my life with my gay neighbor. Mr. Smyth and I were supposed to be together forever. I grab the new drink in front of me and start chugging.

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