When it comes to panky with the provider of your paycheck, there are only two possible avenues: staying celibate and secure, or shedding your shirt and forever struggling to keep it on your back.
Now, there’s always a possibility that it could play out like that one Hugh Grant flick—or every Hugh Grant flick—wherein Mr. Bigwig notices there’s something about that buttoned-up secretary hiding behind her file cabinet. He puts her on a special project, makes her “special project” top priority…on every surface of his office, pretends like nothing happened, then realizes he’s a bloody fool, jumps on her desk, and croons “Make It With You” before her and an entire staff of blubbering middle-aged women.
And then there’s the dreary alternative to this. It’s a scenario that 67% of Hannah Think Tank respondents seem to understand very well: dirty can get messy, and end up bleeding into company affairs. For instance, a stack of copies delivered to him with your full-color, double-magnified hoo-ha slipped in, may not have the same saucy luster when he hands out those copies to a group of clients.
Even if you’ve matured beyond adolescent antics, your co-workers may not have. When word gets out—and trust me, it always gets out—break-room rumors will run amuck. Within a week, everyone will be convinced you’re a prostitute he picked up on Santa Monica Boulevard who kills time at her desk until his lunchtime blowjob.
Chances are your boss’s patience has a limit. When the price begins out-weighing the pleasure (or in Jack’s case, when you start screwing his wife, too), he’ll get rid of the problem altogether. Unfortunately, the problem will be you.
Next up: Can rebounds turn into relationships? Weigh in now. The poll is in the sidebar on the right, below the ad. Some of you asked…:)
Jenni Perez authored the 2008-2009 edition of the popular sex issues column, “The Wednesday Hump,” in UC Santa Barbara’s Daily Nexus. When she’s not contributing her thoughts about the trials of modern romance, she devotes much of her effort to sustainable living and recording music.