Posted by on Oct 2, 2012 in Relationships and Sex | 0 comments

 

Q. My worst crush experience is with my next door neighbor. She was (still is) overly flirty, gives me love looks when I look at her, blushes… I even caught her looking up swooning at me once like she was in love with me. Originally I met her when she got locked out of her apartment. She came over, all smiling and friendly, asking for help, so I did. Then I decided to write a note to her, and taped it to her door. Except her guy roommate (not her boyfriend) got to it first, started knocking on my door, and when I opened it, told me not to contact her again. Told me she has a boyfriend and is not even interested in being friends with me. So I avoided her for weeks, until we bumped into each other. She started eye humping me again, playing with her hair, trying to get my attention. But then another time I over hear her passing by with her boyfriend, saying she believes she has a possible stalker. I avoid her now and everyone else in the apartment building.

I get a lot of women that puppy dog me, i.e. they treat me like a viable romantic interest yet have no interest other than viewing me as a cute puppy in a store window. It’s made me believe that love is utter bullshit nonsense. That love is largely people deluding themselves and feeding on their own emotional states believing it’s shared. What do you think?

A. I think this girl in particular is not a girl that you want to get caught up with. First of all, she has a boyfriend, second of all, she lives with an overprotective male roommate. This screams attention-whore to me, and even if she was single you’d be constantly battling with that side of her; that side of her that needs to feel like she has a harem because she’s afraid to be alone as much as she is to be in one committed relationship.

As for feeling like you’re always getting “puppy dogged”…don’t take every smile so seriously. I’m not saying that there aren’t people that intentionally or accidentally send mixed signals. But consider that we live in a tech-heavy society, and most people spend their days looking at LCDs instead of human faces, which disconnects us from real human emotion. This is why when we finally make that human connection, a simple gesture of being kind can be easily misconstrued for lust or love.

Love is not bullshit. There are examples of love everywhere; from people renewing their wedding vows after 30 years together to people trying to save the oceans. But love is a journey not a destination, and a different journey for everyone. Some people find their one true love in high school, others bounce around from one relationship to the next their entire lives, and still others wait many long years to meet that right connection. Don’t lose faith, and learn to enjoy the journey.