me: had a crazy dream about you Maitland Valentine John Waters last night…
he: wait. tigerblood crazy?
me: soon. yes.
me: I’m massaging your head, playing with your nipple rings…do you even have nipple rings?…and rubbing up against your back side, when two women walk in. one starts kissing you, and going on about how much she loves you, and how upset she is that you don’t love her back in the same way, the other says nothing, just unzips your pants and starts massaging…your other head. meanwhile I’m wondering how to get these two bitches out of the room so we can finish what we started…but then you have an orgasm, and it fucking goes everywhere. white splooge all over her, the other her, you, me, it starts to look like a bubble bath party…and wait…it is a bubble bath party, and we’re all naked, but you can only see the top half of us, reaching for one another, yet unable to grasp onto anything…and I wake up.
he: that wasn’t a dream.
me: shit. parallel universe…