Patience has never been my strongest virtue. When I want something, I want it NOW, and if I don’t get it NOW I obsess about how to get it in the shortest amount of time possible.
Interestingly enough, this lack of patience has rarely been tested. When I decided I needed to drive, the day I turned 16 I got my license. When I decided I was done with highschool, I mapped out all the classes I needed and graduated six months early. When I decided I wanted a bachelor’s degree, I figured out a way to do it in two years instead of four. When I was ready for a high-paying corporate career job, I landed the first internship I applied for, which led to exactly that. When I decided I was ready to get married…I woke up one morning, looked at my fiancee-of-a-month, and told him we were heading down to see the Justice of the Peace.
I’ve never been good at waiting, which is why this whole book venture, this whole wanting to be an author, has been such an emotional roller coaster ride over the last six years. It is the first thing that I have wanted, that I haven’t just gotten right away. It’s the first thing I’ve worked hard for, that hasn’t just panned out. It’s the first thing that has made me doubt myself.
I’ve thought about quitting. I’ve felt that all this stuff I do to get the word out about my books, blogging, twittering, Facebook-ing, is a waste of time. I’ve been told to read Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud. I’ve had to endure those conversations that start with, “how could you have given up your great career for this”. But I can’t stop. Or more accurately, why should I stop? I am a writer. I’ve always been a writer, even when I thought writing in my journal wasn’t really writing. Writing comes naturally to me. I have stories, real and made up, that I want to share. It’s what I’m passionate about, and not just a job, which is why I don’t want to stop. And I also have a point that I want to make with Sex, Life, & Hannah. It’s already planned out; her big lesson in life, the epiphany, the light bulb that suddenly turns on. This book series may not ever go more than four books, but it will go to Number 4 so that I can present my thesis.
Sometimes you just have to trust…and believe it’s not going to blow up in your face. Take a deep breath, and practice some patience.
And if you need to burn some time, while you’re breathing, and being patient, and waiting for all that hard work to pay off, you should go on a date, or two, with a guy sporting a moustache this month. It could lead to nothing, it could just mean you’re supporting a great cause, or it could eventually take you down to see the Justice of the Peace.