Posted by on Aug 18, 2013 in SLH Excerpts | 0 comments

From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 3, Summer Season (CHAPTER 24: LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY)

I’m standing outside Clark and Chopper’s guest bathroom, knocking on the door because Deirdra has locked herself in.

“Don’t you even try to judge me!” Deirdra yells from behind the door.

I shout at her to let me in.

“You and your constant revolving door of men!” she shouts back.

Christian, who’s trying to pry the bathroom door open with an inadequate screwdriver he pulled out of Clark’s toolbox, raises an eyebrow to me before going back to the task at hand.

“You probably let every guy who buys you dinner bang you in the ass!” she goes on, letting out her pent-up hostility towards me.

Christian stops again. “You know, HJ, I think you’re right. I think we do need to get to know one another better.”

I continue banging on the door.

“This is completely your fault!” I hear Chopper bark as he heads down the hallway carrying two full cocktail glasses. “You just had to bring Tigger into this house…I told you there was something off about her.” Chopper arrives at the door Christian and I are huddled at and tells us to each take a margarita.

“Oh, my fault.” Clark is hot on Chopper’s trail with two more drinks. “Because the affair you had last year with Bill the Coke Dealer has nothing to do with this!”

Clark hands one of the cocktails to Chopper.

“Hey, mister,” Chopper retorts, “let me remind you that you wanted to fuck Bill the Coke Dealer, too.”

He points. And we all turn our attention to the man sitting on Clark and Chopper’s couch holding a bag of frozen vegetables against his face.

“What?!” Bill removes the bag and unties one of his boots. “And where’s my margarita?”

Fifteen minutes later, we’re all on our second round of drinks, and now Chopper’s the one banging and yelling. “You better open this door right now before we start tearing your room apart to look for everything else that’s mysteriously gone missing over the last few weeks!”

Bill lets out a soulful sigh. “You know, I could’ve told you it’s a mistake to bring a cokehead into the house.” He purses his lips around the edge of his glass. “They steal.”

“My god!” Clark, who is now sitting next to Bill, suddenly exclaims. “Who did your pedicure? I love that ever-so-slight hint of sparkle—and no calluses…amazing.”

Bill peers down at his feet. “You know Frank, the guy who owns the rare Indian cycle shop—”

Christian’s head pops out of the toolbox he’s been rummaging through again. “There’s an Indian cycle shop in L.A. now? I’ve been looking for a ’74 SE for years.”

Bill eyeballs Christian…like he’s assessing the pedigree of a race horse. “I could make an introduction,” he says.

“Speaking of introductions…” Clark leans forward. “Is Hannah going to introduce us to her latest conquest?”

Conquest? Does everyone in my life consider me a tramp?

To Be Continued…

COPYRIGHT
Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 3, Spring Season by Dorota Skrzypek.
Copyright 2012 by Dorota Skrzypek.
ISBN 0-9768869-2-1
All Rights Reserved.

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