Posted by on May 20, 2011 in LISTS | 0 comments

coke-in-a-bottle

86. If you want to just hit it and quit it. It’s alright. Do it. Emperors have been doing it for years.

87. If you’re going to drink Coke, drink the real thing. Not Diet Coke, not Cherry Coke, not Coke from a can, not Coke from a soda fountain, but Coke, in a bottle.

88. If you want to father a bastard lovechild…ahhh shit, I can’t help you out with that one, but do read this: http://www.sexlifeandhannah.com/why-do-we-always-have-to-be-upstanding/

89. If you’re planning on getting real upset at your audience for not getting up and dancing, and end up yelling in the mic “fuck you”, and spitting at them, and storming off the stage…make sure it’s not a benefit for the disabled…who were given free front row seats to your concert. Oh Beck. True story, as told by Neil Strauss in Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead.

90. If you’re gonna have a threesome, I think the only way to go is two dudes and a chick. I mean think about it, it’s like a guaranteed win-win for everyone. First of all, women are way better at multi-tasking so they can pleasure one man with their mouth and another with their pussy, easily. Second, and ultimately, it’s all about the female orgasm, and what better way to ensure the female orgasm than with two penis’. Unless the chick is into other chicks; but then there’s a strong likelihood that either a) you, the dude, are gonna get left out, or b) you, the dude, will be scrambling to pleasure two women with just one penis, one mouth, and two hands. And you know how demanding we can get.