15. If your Men’s Night involves seeing how many of ya can fit into a telephone booth, you’re gay. Or trying to relive your college years and need to move on.
16. If something doesn’t taste good, spit it out. And if you ordered it at a restaurant, tell the waiter. They need to know, and you shouldn’t have to pay for it.
17. It’s easier to get in anywhere if you’re on your own. Especially if you’re female, and wearing a cute outfit.
18. The larger a man’s balls, the more virile he is, so if you wanna get knocked up, don’t go for the big penis, go for the big balls.
19. Unless you have tickets to the Laker’s playoffs, you have no reason to be “going out” that night in downtown L.A. And if you have tickets, plan your exit the side of Olympic, not Figueroa. And have your cabby or driver pick you up at the Ritz Carlton.