RULES! Part 4.

20. If you meet someone with emotional herpes, RUN AWAY!

21. If you’re on the 22nd floor of a downtown LA high-rise and an earthquake hits, get under a table or other piece of furniture. If there isn’t a table near you, cover your face and head with your arms and crouch in an inside corner of the building. Read more here: http://www.fema.gov/hazard/earthquake/eq_during.shtm

22. Yes. Smoking is bad for you. I know, I know, a fag with a cocktail can be oh so tempting, but…it’s still bad for you. Chain-smoking especially. And if you do it long enough, it’ll just make you look like a tired, dried up old prune. And the smoker’s cough–not sexy.

23. If they can only see you Monday through Thursday, if they like to tease but never put out, if they want you to pay for everything but never put out, if those mysterious 1AM phone calls are always from “just a friend”, or they cancel on you because they have to “console a friend”…again, they’ve got emotional herpes.