39. Everyone should read: How to Behave and Why by Munro Leaf. It’s all about how to be honest, fair, strong, and wise. And how to say thank you when someone does something nice for you, because if you don’t, you will forever burn a bridge with that person, especially if that person has their Venus in Scorpio. Ok, maybe it doesn’t say the bit about the Venus in Scorpio, but it’s a really great book nonetheless.
40. West Hollywood is a A LOT of fun during Halloween. Even when you’re at a bar, and some tall busty slut starts grinding up on your man, pulls down his zipper, grabs his crotch, and asks if he wants a blowjob. Hey, it’s Halloween, shit happens.
41. And who cares that she has bigger tits and longer legs than you! Stop focusing on your shortfalls. Focus on your assets and do everything you can to accentuate them.
42. And it’s definitely not anything you should break up over. I mean really, when you’re in a relationship for longer than…three months, you need to expect your significant other is going to get hit on, and sometimes even by Dave Navarro, and they’ll probably even enjoy it, and they should. Committed doesn’t mean DEAD. Besides, breaking up is hard to do…on Facebook.
43. And it’s not cheating unless…they exchange bodily fluids, numbers, and start seeing each other behind your back.
44. The key to a long term, committed relationship is honesty. If there’s no honesty, there’s no trust. If there’s no trust, you should just be single, save yourself a lot of heartache and drama, and move on. If you need to know more about honesty, see Rule #39.
45. Always hand wash and hang dry your panties and bras, and anything else that you consider “nice” and don’t want to dry clean. And the hand washing should be done in cold water. It’ll make everything last years longer. Trust me. Stop wasting your hard earned cash replacing shit that you should just take better care of.
46. And, if your sexy underthings are frayed, stretched out, or simply don’t do anything flattering for your ass and tits anymore, it’s time to throw them away and MOVE ON.