Posted by on Jun 30, 2012 in Relationships and Sex | 0 comments


“It’s taking all my self-control not to fuck you on the hood of this car right now, just to show you that you are mine, and if I want to buy you a fucking car, I’ll buy you a fucking car,” he growls. “Now let’s get you inside and naked.” – 50 Shades of Grey

I grew up in a time where women and men had equal rights. Being sexist was an old-world concept. Men didn’t own woman, and women could do whatever they wanted. The Handmaids Tale was just a scary piece of fiction. And I took every opportunity to move this concept forward. Separate boy and girl lines bothered me so much in elementary school I’d give my teachers a headache by constantly lining up in the boy’s line to prove some point, until they finally sent me to the principal’s office. I grabbed my education, career, and sexuality by the horns, and made it a vow never to have to rely on a man for anything—not even my orgasms.

It took me reaching my late twenties to recognize there was a charm and purpose to being a woman. That it wasn’t necessary to always go out of your way to be like a man. And now, six years deep into my marriage, I recognize it even more. Whether we like to admit it or not, it is a turn on to feel like you belong to someone; and I use the term “belong” in its loosest configuration because I still believe we all need several independent bones in our bodies to make it through the trials of life. But this excerpt out of 50 Shades of Grey struck a primal chord within me, which could be one of the reasons the book has become so popular. Women, given the difficult task of propagating the human species, have naturally relied on the concept of a “provider” for centuries; it is in our DNA to want someone to take the reigns, especially while we are in our most vulnerable state. It is not always necessary, or in our best interest, to fight for equality with the opposite sex, if for no other reason than there being something very sexually satisfying about letting the opposite sex take complete control of you. At least for a few hours of foreplay. As much as we all want equal pay, we also want a man to be able to take our bodies in a way that makes us feel like we don’t ever want to belong to anyone else.