by hannah
January 13th, 2012
So, you bit the bullet. You called it quits on your relationship, before the holidays. Good on you. You are the 73 percent.
And now that the box of liqueur chocolates has been scarfed, and your mother’s “not ALL spinsters are unhappy” wisdom has been prescribed, and your married friends’ Christmas cards have smoldered in your fireplace, it’s time to muster up some self-respect and think about dating again.
Unfortunately, you know it’s not as easy as slipping into a tight black number and shouting: Come and get me, boys! It’s been awhile—perhaps a few years—and your game isn’t quite as tight as the Versace in the back of your closet.
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by hannah
March 4th, 2010
Before the SLH Blog there was the SLH Bulletin Board, and…in January of ‘08 I interviewed the only virgin I knew. Since this topic is still very relevant, I am re-posting it here, today. In case you missed it the first time:
Last night I started thinking about sex; specifically my sexual history. I started wondering how my sexual experiences had shaped me, and what type of person I would be if I hadn’t had those experiences. No doubt your sexuality shapes the person you are. It can empower you, or make you more self-conscious. It can make you feel more like a woman, more beautiful, or more frustrated.
In today’s over-sexed, over-exposed, over-pleasured society, more people are having sex, more often, more casually, and much earlier in their life. More people are talking about sex more openly than ever, and the media uses it to sell everything from clothes to cars. Fifty years ago the social norm was that you didn’t have sex until you got married, today, it’s considered unusual if you wait that long. But—if I knew then what I know now, would I have waited to have sex? Would I have stayed a virgin longer?
To toggle these curiosities, I decided to interview the only virgin I know. A woman in her mid-twenties who is attractive, intelligent, and not about to give up her flower to just anyone…
What does it feel like to be a virgin in today’s society?
Different. There’s a lot of temptation. The media is very suggestive towards sex. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one. There’s pressure in feeling like you’re the only one. I know I’m not the only one, but sometimes when I feel that way, I feel disappointed in myself.
It’s not that I don’t want to have sex. I want to hook up with someone I’m attracted to instinctively and feel I want a relationship with. I want to be in a relationship with someone. I definitely like feeling sexually aroused.
So why haven’t you done “it” yet?
Reluctance. And most of the time, I’m not aroused by anyone. When I am, often the timing is not right. There’s a guy I’ve been friends with for a while, and I’ve fantasized about having sex with him, but he’s usually in a relationship, or pursuing a girl. It doesn’t feel meant to be with him. And I don’t want to be desperate. I want to wait for someone that I want to be in a relationship with—that would make the experience more pleasurable…
