by hannah
March 4th, 2010
Before the SLH Blog there was the SLH Bulletin Board, and…in January of ‘08 I interviewed the only virgin I knew. Since this topic is still very relevant, I am re-posting it here, today. In case you missed it the first time:
Last night I started thinking about sex; specifically my sexual history. I started wondering how my sexual experiences had shaped me, and what type of person I would be if I hadn’t had those experiences. No doubt your sexuality shapes the person you are. It can empower you, or make you more self-conscious. It can make you feel more like a woman, more beautiful, or more frustrated.
In today’s over-sexed, over-exposed, over-pleasured society, more people are having sex, more often, more casually, and much earlier in their life. More people are talking about sex more openly than ever, and the media uses it to sell everything from clothes to cars. Fifty years ago the social norm was that you didn’t have sex until you got married, today, it’s considered unusual if you wait that long. But—if I knew then what I know now, would I have waited to have sex? Would I have stayed a virgin longer?
To toggle these curiosities, I decided to interview the only virgin I know. A woman in her mid-twenties who is attractive, intelligent, and not about to give up her flower to just anyone…
What does it feel like to be a virgin in today’s society?
Different. There’s a lot of temptation. The media is very suggestive towards sex. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one. There’s pressure in feeling like you’re the only one. I know I’m not the only one, but sometimes when I feel that way, I feel disappointed in myself.
It’s not that I don’t want to have sex. I want to hook up with someone I’m attracted to instinctively and feel I want a relationship with. I want to be in a relationship with someone. I definitely like feeling sexually aroused.
So why haven’t you done “it” yet?
Reluctance. And most of the time, I’m not aroused by anyone. When I am, often the timing is not right. There’s a guy I’ve been friends with for a while, and I’ve fantasized about having sex with him, but he’s usually in a relationship, or pursuing a girl. It doesn’t feel meant to be with him. And I don’t want to be desperate. I want to wait for someone that I want to be in a relationship with—that would make the experience more pleasurable…
by hannah
March 3rd, 2010
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Winter Season (CHAPTER 6: VALENTINE’S DAY MARTYRDOM)
I am standing next to Celeste drinking a free cocktail. Celeste is wearing a tight-fitting long-sleeved black velvet dress with buttons running from her kneecaps up to the top of her neck, along with black platform boots and Viva Glam lipstick. Celeste may be conservative and a virgin, but she always dresses like a Hollywood vixen from the twenties…
by hannah
March 1st, 2010
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Winter Season (CHAPTER 6: VALENTINE’S DAY MARTYRDOM)
Saint Valentine was a Roman martyr. Sometime during the third century, the Roman Catholic priest was tortured and beheaded on February fourteenth for marrying soldiers, who were forbidden the tradition by the emperor of the era.
Today, Valentine’s Day is a holiday celebrating love. A holiday when people express their emotions with flowers, chocolate, stuffed animals, jewelry, and other fashionable trinkets. A holiday filled with anticipation and expectation over what that special someone in your life will do to prove their devotion. It is a holiday for starting new relationships, proposing in old relationships, and repairing teetering relationships. A perfect holiday for romance.
Ireland is spending the holiday with her new boyfriend: The Guitar Instructor. After four guitar lessons she perfected the fingering of the G-major scale, and they decided their kinship for music was uncanny and their meeting undoubtedly written in the stars. Some might call this a textbook romance.
Jack is at a Valentine’s Day party for swingers at some ultra–hip, ultra-rich, coffee-shop-chain entrepreneur’s house, where he is going to peruse and experiment with sexually easy people. Some might call this the perfect way to spend the romantic holiday.
I am at a Valentine’s Day work function with Celeste because The Ex still hasn’t called begging me back into his life, and Ben and I didn’t get an opportunity to make plans while bent over the side of my bed in fits of attempted passion. Of course, Clark invited me out to dinner after apologizing profusely for his behavior the other night. He felt just terrible about having drunk too much and causing a scene that ruined a perfectly “magical” evening with his favorite girl. And then he asked me if I really was in love with Ben. I threw my head back and laughed generously as I exclaimed: “Of course not! I drank too much too, and didn’t know what I was saying either.” And then I told him I’d already made plans, closed the door, and wished for a pack of cigarettes to burn away the pitiful state of my romantic life…
