Sex, Life, and Hannah » cocktailing

A Trip to Vegas

hannah — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:08:39 +0000

The sun is beating down on my car, and the AC is pumping. I’m drinking coffee out of my travel mug, and Holly is drinking the vodka and OJ we bought at a convenience store, out of the extra travel mug I gave her. We’re forty-eight miles into our trip to Vegas. Holly takes a sip out of her travel mug, “do you love him?” I take a sip out of my travel mug, “of course.” Holly adjusts the AC, “good, because Mom thinks you’re on the rebound from what’s-his-name.” I scoff at my mother thinking she knows anything about my life, considering every time I try to tell her anything she puts her own spin on it as if she hasn’t heard a word I said. “When did you talk to mom?” Holly doesn’t just call my parents out of the blue to catch up. They have a strained relationship at best, so she only calls them when she wants something. “A couple days ago, I wanted Aunt Helen’s number.”

Pictures from fourth of july.

hannah — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 02:07:52 +0000

Sunday, pool day, and really great margaritas with some new friends. ...

RULES! Part 15.

hannah — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 20:55:46 +0000

91. Do not tattoo the face of your dog above your ass crack. I know you dog lovers really love your dogs but…come on. Any guy that wants to do you doggie style and has to look at the face of your dog the whole time he’s doing it, is just gonna think you are WAY too into your dog for him to ever stand a chance, and will probably never ask you out again. 92. A really great set of fake boobs look real. They’re symmetrical and proportionate to your body. Just like real boobs. So if you really want fake boobs, go to a doctor who knows what he’s doing. And knows to turn you away when you really shouldn’t be messing with your boobs. 93. A guy that’s really into you and worth your time is not going to just care about your boobs.

What do YOU do when you read Sex, Life, & Hannah?

hannah — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 21:55:25 +0000

Last Friday, on the ride home, and what some are saying is the BEST QUOTE OF THE YEAR: "If I was a girl, the last thing I'd stick in my ___ is my ___." -...

Progress on the 3rd SLH book.

hannah — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 00:21:01 +0000

Tonight I'm going out for a third night in a row, which I haven't done in a long while. I think it's because on Wednesday I finally finished a first draft of the Sex, Life, & Hannah Summer Season, and for the first time in eight months, a huge weight lifted off my brain. There is a solid list of reasons for why it took too long: lack of inspiration, identity crisis, writer’s block, guilt…I could go on, but I’m going to stop. The important thing is, the first draft is done, and that is always the hardest part.

What now? I’m going to re-read the Winter and Spring Seasons, make notes about any story lines I’ve left dangling, make sure names and references are correct, and then go through the manuscript one more time; adding, changing, deleting, giving it a final go before handing it off to my two amazing editors.

Room with a View.

hannah — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 20:00:36 +0000

“Why aren’t we getting married?” Jack drags himself over to where I'm sitting and slumps over my lap. I haven't seen Jack drunk in a really long time, “because we have a PACT; because I haven’t lost all hope; because I don’t feel like my ovaries are shriveling up yet; because I really do love Christian.” Jack starts rubbing my calf, “we would be good together. I would make a good husband.” I rub his head a little, “you will make a good husband one day.” Joan, a woman that looks more like a man, walks in, clears her throat and hands me and Jack two freshly made drinks, Jack grabs it, and takes a swig. He then tries to stand, and luckily Joan is there to stabilize him. “So, girl-that’s-marrying-someone-other-than-me, do you want to see the viewing room?” He holds out his hand to me and tells Joan she's done for the day. I take Jack's hand, “I’m not going to walk in on anything bizarre am I?” We start walking out of the library, "says the girl who banged her fiancée in a peep show booth,” Jack gives me a smack on the ass.

RULES! Part 11.

hannah — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 15:00:00 +0000

65. If you decide to go to an after party in the Hollywood Hills after boozing at Bar Marmont and dancing at the Purple Lounge, you most likely will not be able to get your car when you decide you're ready to stop bs-ing with randoms about how your security guard Eduardo walks around your house with a pistol, and has killed people. Valet will be closed, the parking lot will be closed, and the parking guy, even though he waited for you 'til god-knows-when (but not 4AM), will eventually decide to go home, and take your keys with him. Your keys...which included your house keys. 66. So yeah, the keys you give to the valet guy or parking guy, or any guy you trust your car to, should not include your house keys.

SLH Holiday Girl Night

hannah — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 23:44:47 +0000

I've just decided to do it. I want some more girl time before the holidays tear us apart to various corners of the world. And I hope you can join me. When I threw out the idea on Facebook and Twitter a couple weeks ago, I know some of you suggested we get together at a lounge, but some of you also suggested a boutique so that instead of spending our hard-earned cash on drinks and food we can spend it on ourselves. I really liked that, especially with xmas around the corner... And if you haven't checked out Taylrz Joynt yet, it is sooooo worth the drive to Ventura Blvd. This is one of a handful of stores I hit when I need something sexy, urban, versatile, and for a really great price. So let's get together, drink some wine, girl talk, shop, and discuss Hannah's latest adventures... Date: Friday, December 3rd Time: 7PM to 10PM (or longer...) Location: Taylrz Joynt Boutique; 13549 Ventura Blvd. 91423 RSVP: hannah@sexlifeandhannah.com LADIES ONLY.

Ready to party.

hannah — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 15:48:38 +0000

photo: www.lainspiration.com

I love this girl. And I'm really jealous of her hair. If I had her hair I don't think I'd ever have a bad hair day. Luckily I had my hair pimped out that day by Gigi, so I wasn't doing so bad at her one year anniversary blog party. And she called me a snow bunny. Love her.

What else happened at the party...I learned I wasn't the only teen to spend their summers glued to General Hospital. This makes me feel better. I met fans of Sex, Life, & Hannah, which is always a HUGE thrill. People reading my books, and loving them, I couldn't ask for anything better. And, a bunch of fashion girls (I think five) told me they loved my nails. I guess that means I have to do this light nail polish thing more often...

Blowjob versus Handjob.

hannah — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 17:05:24 +0000

I decided to go out by myself Friday night. I love doing this, because you never know who you're going to meet and you're not obligated to entertain anybody but yourself. The world is your oyster, you are its pearl... A lot of people think I'm a freak when I proclaim this, or the fact that I also love traveling by myself. Anyway, prior to my departure I happened upon a tweet from @imboycrazy about a beauty event by YOUTHskin/care (organic, hand made skin products=love), and thought, what a perfect intro to my evening... And it was, met some super cool chicks, including Alexi Wasser, got some super cool swag (more on that later this week). Discussed everything from leather lube to Playboy's leather & lace issue from 1986 or 1993 or who-knows-when, how Asian men like to get pee-ed on (apparently in Hong Kong), and finally, a debate on whether handjobs are better than blowjobs. The consensus seemed to be blowjobs blow handjobs out of the water, but I pride myself on my handjob abilities, wet and dry. "Dry?" The long-haired gentlemen sitting next to me asks; a perplexed look on his face.

Where have I been?

hannah — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 02:59:10 +0000

Working. Seriously working. Like not Mon-Fri, 9-5 working, but Mon-Sun, 7-11 working. It's been insane, but greatly needed. Client work was slow this year; nearly dried out my bank account. Luckily, in the last three weeks, I've been able to make what I typically would have in three months, so my hiatus from Sex, Life, & Hannah has been a good thing. The break has also been good for my creative juices. I got on a roll in late August and September. Wrote three damn good chapters of the next book, and then, the craziness. But in the back of my mind the stories have been formulating, dying to burst out, so the next time I have a bit of peace and quiet (probably after Halloween)...some good writing is gonna go down. I've also been thinking about getting an assistant again. The "to do" list has now stretched from the 2009 day timer, to the 2010 day timer, to a new white board in my office, and I have hundreds of emails in each of my five inboxes. It's gotten out of control, and with my new client schedule, I want a clone, or the next best thing: a really great assistant. Oh, how this frightens me though. The people that would work, are unavailable or out of budget, so I'm stuck with...Craigslist? Good people are hard to find...in all aspects of life, as I was unkindly reminded this past Sunday, when the girl hubbie and me were letting stay at our place for nearly two months left, without saying thank you. Hubbie tells me I need to let it go, and I agree, but writing about it, is part of my process.

Kissing in public.

hannah — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 20:19:28 +0000

From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 2, Spring Season (CHAPTER 18: KNIGHT IN DARK ARMOR) I’m leaning over the bar, finishing up a cigarette and flirting with the bartender who has been pouring me generous drinks all evening. “You look fucking fantastic,” I hear from behind me. I turn around. It’s Phillip Ferrari, looking pretty fucking fantastic himself. He’s wearing dark jeans and a t-shirt, probably handmade by some up-and-coming designer out of SoHo, and a driving jacket. He looks casual yet sharp, as always. He takes the half-smoked cigarette from between my fingers and drops it in an empty glass. “But you’re going to have to quit that.” Fairly tipsy, I throw caution to the wind and wrap my arms around him. “I started thinking you weren’t going to make it.” He’s clearly taken aback, but gives me a squeeze. “And miss seeing how the rich kids on the West Coast live? Not a chance.” He reaches into his pocket, takes out a pack of mints, and pops one in my mouth. I suck on it happily.

The Cock, the Pool Boy, and the Cardinal

hannah — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 14:48:01 +0000

From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 2, Spring Season (CHAPTER 18: KNIGHT IN DARK ARMOR) Ireland, Celeste, and I are sipping cocktails on large deck chairs at the pool. Well, except for Celeste, who is sipping mineral water. “Special lady friend?” I tease, taking a sip of my cocktail, which is a lot vodka and a little soda. Ireland hikes up her dress again because it’s barely covering her massive assets—a testament to why a twenty-year-old Hollywood producer wants to play house with her while his parents are out of town. “I think it means he likes me,” she says winking. “My dad calls some of my mom’s friends his ‘special lady friends,’” says Celeste. “But she doesn’t seem to like that.” “Doesn’t it imply someone you just like to get your rocks off with?” I feel Jack and I have talked about this term of not-so-endearment. Celeste scowls at me. Ireland lights up a cigarette. “How would he know what anything means? He’s twenty.” She adjusts her top again and points across the pool from us. “See that guy in the ponytail and white jeans?”

Celebrating my birthday, Part 1.

hannah — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 20:25:30 +0000

I probably shouldn't be writing today. Still very tired, and still probably feeling the effects of the snickerdoodle cookies... So. Vegas. Me and Coco went to Vegas Saturday night because she needed a getaway and I had some leftover miles that were expiring at the end of October. And since my birthday is only a week away, I decided to start the celebration early. Vegas is a very different place when your status is married versus single. Especially is you don't have any special kind of "arrangements" with your husband. And last night, during a quick dinner debrief with my friend Ruby, she tells me those types of things end badly anway, at least they have with all the married people she's known. "Someone gets emotionally attached to the person they're supposed to be having unemotional sex with." A fair assessment, and to be honest, I'm not sure about the kind of arrangement I really want with hubbie. What I really want, is probably what every other married person really wants: the ability to time travel. I'm in Vegas, I'm partying, eating a snickerdoodle cookie at Rehab, sipping on a 20 ounce marg, letting go, I snap my fingers, and I'm single. I'm at home, hung over, lonely, desperately needing a foot rub, I snap my fingers, and I'm married. If only the Quantum Leap theory was more advanced... "Where are you from?" Cute guy with faux hawk yells in my ear. Coco and I were at one of the most obnoxious clubs I'd ever been to, Tao, and had momentarily lost one another in the crowd; not difficult.

Girl Talk at the Standard Pool

hannah — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 15:32:12 +0000

Ladies! I am happy to announce that the 2nd Sex, Life, & Hannah Book Club meeting in L.A. is confirmed. After months of debating locations and dates, I have finally made a decision. Join me for a fun afternoon of lounging by the pool, cocktailing, and girl talk. Date: Saturday, October 2, 2010. Time: 2PM-5PM Location: Standard Hollywood, poolside. 8300 Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood California, 90069. Parking: $5 Valet for book club members.