Posts Tagged ‘falling in love’
by hannah
October 19th, 2011
A few months ago, I posted on my SLH FB and Twitter: The state of your relationship is all about the state of your mind.
Today, this statement holds more truth to me than it did back then. In fact, I feel this statement is at the very epicenter of every relationship; the deciding factor in what makes or breaks a relationship.
When I first fell in love with hubbie, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I was completely invested, ‘til death do us part, and we weren’t even married. Our love was strong, and life was bliss. I had found my man, and I didn’t need anything else.
Then the “stuff” started piling up; at first financial, and then sexual, and that’s when I stopped being invested in the same way. Suddenly I felt different about us, our future, and whether I even wanted one with hubbie anymore. I didn’t start “looking” per se, but I definitely started feeling open to meeting other people, and seeing what might happen…
by hannah
July 20th, 2011
Q. Hey Hannah, I have been wanting to ask you a couple relationship questions for a while now, I just keep chickening out because I am afraid of the answers. Basically the first question is this: If a woman you care about and love tells you she just wants to be your friend…is it because she really means that or…is it because you just don’t meet all her qualifications as boyfriend material? Also, are you able to be friends with a man and still be attracted to them at the same time?
To give you some background, our relationship started as friends, as she was married, but I began developing serious feelings for her. When she divorced, I revealed my feelings, which is when she let me know she just wanted to be friends. And now she’s beginning a relationship with a new guy…and of course it is killing me!
I feel you are the one who will give me a straight, truthful, knowledgeable answer on what I should do.
A. Well my friend, the straight answer is: she’s not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. Now, I don’t necessarily think you don’t meet all her boyfriend “qualifications”. I think all of us have dated people on all ends of the spectrum; people that were seemingly everything we were looking for, and people that met none, or very little of our “qualifications”, yet the attraction was so strong we couldn’t help but jump their bones, and as a result, jumped on an emotional roller coaster ride that usually left us feeling more sick than satisfied…
by hannah
February 18th, 2011
Last night at the SLH Book Club meeting I was reading an excerpt from Chapter 10:
I always believed in “The One”: your one true love, your soul mate, your other half who completed you. I believed we were like penguins, who mated for life and died suddenly when the other didn’t return from a hunting mission. I didn’t believe that being with The One was always perfect: birds chirping, flowers blooming, and rays of sunshine; but I believed it lasted forever.
Walking out of that elevator at nearly two in the morning, I felt this great belief of mine shattering. Maybe there wasn’t such a thing as The One…or maybe I hadn’t met him yet.
After I finished, this girl said, “That’s why I don’t believe in marrying for love, I believe in marrying your best friend.”
She went on to talk about how she and her boyfriend were first friends, how she wasn’t even interested romantically in him, but how over time, she came to value and respect the friendship so much they became lovers, and now, she feels that logically it makes sense to marry him, “we can do nothing together, and it’s great.”
