Posts Tagged ‘finding the man of your dreams’
by hannah
July 22nd, 2011
Q. I need some serious advice about this guy I have been dating for approximately two months.
The first month was a little weird, because we met through a mutual friend, became instantly interested in each other, but I was dating someone else. We eventually went on two dates, and it became obvious to me that I should drop the other guy I was seeing. Then, as fate would have it, he went on vacation for 2 weeks and then I went on vacation for a week. So there were 3 forced weeks of not getting to see him, but I actually got to know him through phone calls, emails, and text messages while we were apart.
When we finally reunited, things got REALLY hot and heavy, but over the last 4 weeks, I have noticed a pattern that is making me anxious.
We will have the most amazing weekends; spend 3 days straight together. But come Monday, I won’t really hear from him…until Thursday. And we’ll make plans for our amazing Friday through Sunday bliss… but come Monday…it’s back to the same, and I get extremely anxious when there is little to no communication between us. I want to tell him that I need to communicate with him DAILY even if it’s just talking on the phone for 5 minutes, but I don’t want to come off as being crazy or needy. Is this normal dating practice? Is he playing games? Am I expecting too much, too fast? I really don’t want to freak him out as it has technically only been 2 months (minus 3 weeks of vacation) of us seeing each other.
Also, with this inquiry comes my next thing, which also makes me just as anxious: THE TALK. I want to ask him what he wants out of our relationship, and where it’s headed. I’m turning 28 in a few months and I don’t want to be wasting my time. So, I want to ask him all of those things, but I don’t want to freak him out and ruin anything. Is it too soon? Should I wait? Do you think he’ll freak out if I ask these things now?
A. The first thing I want to say is this: Feel some level of security in the fact that you’re not “Monday through Thursday Girl”. The fact that he wants to spend his entire weekend with you, and isn’t brushing you off so that he can party with his buddies and see what else is out there, means he’s interested in you, in more than just a casual way…
by hannah
July 20th, 2011
Q. Hey Hannah, I have been wanting to ask you a couple relationship questions for a while now, I just keep chickening out because I am afraid of the answers. Basically the first question is this: If a woman you care about and love tells you she just wants to be your friend…is it because she really means that or…is it because you just don’t meet all her qualifications as boyfriend material? Also, are you able to be friends with a man and still be attracted to them at the same time?
To give you some background, our relationship started as friends, as she was married, but I began developing serious feelings for her. When she divorced, I revealed my feelings, which is when she let me know she just wanted to be friends. And now she’s beginning a relationship with a new guy…and of course it is killing me!
I feel you are the one who will give me a straight, truthful, knowledgeable answer on what I should do.
A. Well my friend, the straight answer is: she’s not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. Now, I don’t necessarily think you don’t meet all her boyfriend “qualifications”. I think all of us have dated people on all ends of the spectrum; people that were seemingly everything we were looking for, and people that met none, or very little of our “qualifications”, yet the attraction was so strong we couldn’t help but jump their bones, and as a result, jumped on an emotional roller coaster ride that usually left us feeling more sick than satisfied…
by hannah
May 5th, 2011
This morning, in my inbox:
I love your books, I can’t wait for the third one, just one question, will Hannah ever get married?
It was as if a plea for hope. And one I was very familiar with. I’d heard my friends lament over this question plenty, and as I stretched into my late twenties I found myself asking it too. It was actually one of the reasons why I decided to write Sex, Life, & Hannah in the first place.
When I wrote the first draft of what was to be Sex, Life & Hannah, back in 2004, the overlying moral of the story was self love. The original Hannah, like the new Hannah, and me, was going through a slew of men; sometimes purely for pleasure, but always seemingly on a quest, to find “The One”. You know, that one person that would ultimately complete her, fulfill her, and turn her life into everything she wanted it to be. Except a light bulb goes off towards the end of that manuscript:
…
