Almost exactly a year later to the date I’m looking at this confession I recorded for a TV show that never came to be, wondering what has really changed. In a lot of ways, me and hubbie are still in the exact same position, not sure where our relationship is heading, uncertain about our careers; me still trying to figure out whether I’m cut out for monogamy, he, still appalled at the notion of alternative lifestyles.
…
In dealing with the life experiences of friends, lovers, ex-lovers, and my sometimes charmingly bitter self, I’ve found that nothing puts grey hairs on the head (and a grudge in the heart) quite like infidelity. Even the suspicion of infidelity can take your relationship from we-just-made-love-on-the-virgin-white-Nassau-sand to you-can-keep-your-stinking-engagement-ring.
There are a myriad of reasons why cheating happens, and it’s rarely “because I hate you so much and just want you to have a hopelessly miserable life” (unless you’re vindictively trying to get back at your ex…for cheating on you). Most of the time, the psychology behind cheating is much more complex than that. Often, the reason has little or nothing to do with the person afflicted. Yet this particular wrongdoing feels about as personal as personal gets.
…
A few months ago, I posted on my SLH FB and Twitter: The state of your relationship is all about the state of your mind.
Today, this statement holds more truth to me than it did back then. In fact, I feel this statement is at the very epicenter of every relationship; the deciding factor in what makes or breaks a relationship.
When I first fell in love with hubbie, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I was completely invested, ‘til death do us part, and we weren’t even married. Our love was strong, and life was bliss. I had found my man, and I didn’t need anything else.
Then the “stuff” started piling up; at first financial, and then sexual, and that’s when I stopped being invested in the same way. Suddenly I felt different about us, our future, and whether I even wanted one with hubbie anymore. I didn’t start “looking” per se, but I definitely started feeling open to meeting other people, and seeing what might happen…
©2012 the adventures of hannah | Website by Bushido Designs