by hannah
July 30th, 2010
When I think of male genital piercings, my mind often goes to a dreadful place—a place of Cosmo horror stories and sky-high gynecologist bills. It drifts to that scene in The Sweetest Thing, in which it took an entire emergency response unit, a handful of neighbors and their grandmothers, and an impromptu rendition of I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing (“Singing relaxes your throat!”) to detach Selma Blair’s mouth from her partner’s bedazzled member. Yep, genital piercing has gotten a lot of bad PR over the years…
I don’t blame the majority of you for voting against hole-punching your happy place for the sake of good sex. There is pain and risk involved, and when you can much more easily read a Kama Sutra guide or buy a quality bottle of warming lube, why subject yourself to that?
But what if you met a guy who just happened to be pierced? Would it be worth a trial-romp, just to see how it feels? I say: Definitely yes…
by hannah
July 13th, 2010
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Spring Season (CHAPTER 13: ORAL FIXATION)
Ireland and I are at Lily’s Nails—the premier budget polish salon on the west side, where the ladies are as professional, quick, and cheap as everyone imagines happy endings to be in Thailand. This is where Ireland recently met Tony: the man who delivered her first oral-stimulation orgasm. And this is where Ireland now gets her nails done every week, because Tony has a “thing” about nails.
“I don’t think I can ever break up with him,” she says, finishing her mimosa, which they serve at Lily’s every day ’til 2:00 p.m.—because every day is a holiday at Lily’s. It’s written in small print on the window.
I point to the dark purple nail polish on my elbow rest, and one of Lily’s girls—the one who has been scrubbing and buffing my feet for thirty minutes now—smiles in acknowledgement. She grabs it and starts applying.
“Strong words,” I say, “for a woman who used to call men who had better hygiene than her faggy.”
Ireland nods to another of Lily’s girls, who is carrying a fresh pitcher of mimosa. “That was before my clitoris experienced this.” Ireland grabs my forearm, wraps her lips around it, and starts sucking and flicking her tongue around…
by hannah
May 13th, 2010
Q. Dear Dr. Sex, I can’t seem to get stimulated and lubricated enough to have intercourse. Sometimes when I’m by myself I feel excited and wet and can masturbate, but when I’m with my boyfriend nothing seems to work and intercourse hurts. Help me before I decide to try taking “E” to attain that level of sexual excitement.
Why do the sex gods do this to us? Such teases… If we’re all lubed up and ready for the big dance by ourselves, why can’t this transfer over when we’re ready for a joyride on the pogo stick with a partner? There are a lot of pieces to this mysterious puzzle. The good news: you’re physiologically capable of arousal and the engine has the ability to function properly. The not so good news: it’s not always easy to control when the engine decides to work.
Our mind is our largest and most powerful sex organ. It has the ability to both enhance and inhibit our arousal. Some woman can come from pure fantasy alone with no direct physical stimulation (they “think” off) while others block their arousal and sexual response mechanisms because they think themselves out of arousal. To begin unraveling this predicament, examine your life. Did social constructs like religion or family expectation shape your sexual attitudes or comfort? Was there ever a time (teenage years, college, etc) when orgasms or arousal were more difficult?
Most of us feel safest when we’re alone and masturbating. There is no one there to judge us or critique us; no one to trigger our insecurities or add fuel to the thoughts we may be thinking about our bodies, our performance, and our concern for our partner’s pleasure. When we’re masturbating we’re not concerned about how our boobs look or whether our stomach looks trim or bloated. When we introduce a partner into the equation, all of a sudden there’s a magnifying glass on all our insecurities and baggage. A supportive lover, friend, or a therapist can help you overcome all those things that impact your arousal. With the right person’s help you will gain confidence and experience, you will become more secure with yourself and your body, and you will let go of those internal judgments that are inhibiting your sexual functioning…
