Sex, Life, and Hannah » sex

Things gone missing

hannah — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 23:31:23 +0000

This morning, I received this response in my inbox regarding Wednesday's post from Dr. Sex:

That was the best advice I've read about ANYTHING, in a long fucking time! Awesome and so, so, SO TRUE! I do know this about myself. My desire for women usually comes when I'm feeling unfulfilled with men, but I'm pretty darned sure it's more about me. Being with women makes me feel powerful in a different way than when I'm with men. I know I'm made to get a man off, but to get a woman off requires more, a lot more. I'm sure there's deep-seated stuff there that I may never recognize, but at least now I know it's more than just a sex thing.

...

After the Kink

hannah — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 19:53:47 +0000

photo: Kiki de Montparnasse in W Magazine

Back in July, I asked Dr. Sex for ideas about spicing up a long-term relationship. He suggested everything from sex toys to kink. I responded with this, and made him dig a little deeper: Q. Sex toys, kink, role play, all sound like the right stuff...but...what about the couple that has explored all the kink and porn their relationship can handle? What if they've already done it all; gone to the extreme, even had a threesome? ...

The Right Fill

hannah — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 16:24:32 +0000

Q. The conversation was started last week, but I just want to be sure...does penis size have anything to do with female pleasure or orgasms? Is there any physiological benefit to having a larger penis, or is it all in our head? A. Is it the size of the wand or the magic in it? Men have fought wars and lost their minds (and confidence) over this issue. But what is really needed? In the US, the average size for guys is about 6 inches, and there's a reason for it. While a lot of men think a ten inch dong is what will rock women to new heights, that kind of instrument is mostly only good for locker room swagger. ...

Candid Penis Talk

hannah — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 17:06:08 +0000

I may get a lot of heat for what I'm about to write in this post, because every article I've ever read on this subject writes to the contrary, but here goes: Penis size does matter, and 92% of you that answered my poll agree. ...

Get Serious if You’re Serious About Having an Orgasm

hannah — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:08:54 +0000

I have an epiphany: Take your porn seriously people, and take your sex even more seriously, especially if you're serious about having an orgasm.

The Major Rearrangement of Book 3 Begins

hannah — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:30:43 +0000

Sometimes when you need to write, nothing comes to you, and other times your writing fills up six pages of your journal before you know it. The last couple of nights I've started the process of working on an official second draft of the Sex, Life, & Hannah Summer Season, the third book in my series about romance gone to hell. Do you like that? The romance going to hell part? It's a new slogan I'm trying out...please let me know, coming up with a slogan, a tag line if you wish, is something I've struggled with since 2007. But I digress. I can't say my re-writing started off with a bang. In fact it was the complete opposite. I toiled over two paragraphs, ended up deleting more than actually writing, and actually created more work for myself. Of course this is going to make the book better, but still, it's frustrating that this book is taking so long to be birthed. The first two came so quickly (relatively), and this one, it's been over a year, and I'm just getting started on the official round two. It makes me wonder if I've lost the touch, the voice, style, or whatever it is that I had in the first two books. The doubts are luckily fleeting, I know if I could run away to Palm Springs, alone, without my phone, and lock myself in a hotel room with no internet service, the official round two would get done in a week. It's hard not to be distracted and just focus on my book right now. ...

Having an Orgasm

hannah — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 14:57:02 +0000

photo: http://la-inspiration.tumblr.com/

From a response to my sister:

Having an orgasm? It all comes down to figuring out what gets you off. For me it started with romance novels, by accident. I was twelve, and I wanted more grown-up reading material. I had no idea romance novels were so…dirty. But reading all those prolonged, and usually illicit, love scenes got my body excited, even though I couldn’t quite figure out how. At thirteen, to figure out the “how”, I decided to buy a Cosmopolitan magazine that promised to reveal all the secrets behind having an orgasm. To this day, just sitting back in a tub and letting the water run over my vagina, is good ol’ reliable. And vibrators, yes, but I didn't have one for a very long time. ...

The State of My Relationship

hannah — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:04:23 +0000

A few months ago, I posted on my SLH FB and Twitter: The state of your relationship is all about the state of your mind. Today, this statement holds more truth to me than it did back then. In fact, I feel this statement is at the very epicenter of every relationship; the deciding factor in what makes or breaks a relationship. When I first fell in love with hubbie, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I was completely invested, ‘til death do us part, and we weren’t even married. Our love was strong, and life was bliss. I had found my man, and I didn't need anything else. Then the “stuff” started piling up; at first financial, and then sexual, and that’s when I stopped being invested in the same way. Suddenly I felt different about us, our future, and whether I even wanted one with hubbie anymore. I didn’t start “looking” per se, but I definitely started feeling open to meeting other people, and seeing what might happen…

Sex, Europe, and Keeping Tabs

hannah — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 16:38:01 +0000

People have been asking whether going to Europe with hubbie brought back a romantic spark. My answer: Not really. But, I didn’t come back from Europe feeling like we should get a divorce either. Maybe because on our last night in Massa Lubrensa when I woke up at one in the morning, ran to the bathroom, slid back into bed, and started nudging him, freaking out, “I just got my period, holy shit, it’s our last night in Italy, oh my god, we’re not going to have sex on our European vacation. Do something! Save our marriage!” He did. He grabbed a towel, got on top of me, and we started fumbling, angrily, passionately, and had sex; and it wasn’t mind-blowing, but it felt connected on some other level, like we understood what we both needed, like there was still something left between us, and so, in fact, hubbie did save our marriage that night.

Overcoming the 7 year itch.

hannah — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 03:01:02 +0000

Q. Dear Dr. Sex, when you're feeling the 7-year itch in your long-term relationship, how can you bring the sizzle back into your sex life? A. Feeling a little sluggish in the romance department Hannah? Well, you’re not alone. Almost every couple experiences a glitch in the sex department at one point or another, and there are a ton of reason why: work, infrequent sex, health ailments, family issues, sexual disorders, hormonal/physiological changes, financial struggles, difficulty reaching orgasm, mental health issues, the fall of Communism, you name it. Now that we’ve come to terms with the inevitable, what can we do about it? One of the first steps in jumpstarting your sex life is stepping outside the box. Many folks are in a routine they feel stuck in, so pushing those boundaries is essential to changing the sexual script. Here are 5 sizzle suggestions to shake up your sex life and get the blood flowing back to your genitals: ...

Getting turned on by cartoons.

hannah — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 16:51:57 +0000

Yesterday, I posted a question to Facebook and Twitter: What do you need most from your significant other? All the responses I got were…very romantic: someone to laugh with, a sympathetic ear, an equal partner, respect. This did not make me feel any better about my reaction to hubbie Saturday night. We were watching porn. Because porn seems to be the only thing that takes our minds off of the multiple projects we’re juggling, and that’s kind of where we are with our sex life right now. We need a distraction, like anime school girls losing their innocence to the bad boy that has just rolled into town, to get aroused around one another. By no means do I consider this an ideal situation, but I’m down for whatever works these days. So I’m getting excited, quietly, because the fact that I’m getting sexually stimulated by a cartoon is kind of freaking me out, until I decide it’s time to make a move.

Questions.

hannah — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:44:06 +0000

Will I ever finish the SLH Summer Season? Will I ever be a successful author? Will I ever have a “real” job again? Will I ever want a “real” job again? Will hubbie and I be able to resurrect our sex life? Will I be a cougar? Will I have kids? Will I be able to be a cougar after having kids? Will I really be able to get the Alas earrings from BesoBeso Jewels? Will a female version of Viagra really make me hornier? Will my dreams come true? Will the universe always provide me with everything I need? Will I always be able to live in the moment? Will my guilty pleasures kill me? Will I be famous? Will I be on the cover of Esquire? Will I leave something of significance behind for my kids? Will I be married ‘til death do us part? Will I make a difference? Will dyeing my hair make me feel younger? Will I be a kick ass Babushka one day?

June Must Have: Money, Sex, and a Versatile Pair of Black Sandals

hannah — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 16:36:59 +0000

photo: webecoist.com

Yesterday, me, and the plumber that was fixing the garbage disposal, got into a conversation. “People in America are too money-hungry and they don’t know how to enjoy life,” he said in his thick Armenian accent. I had to agree with him, to a point, because I had definitely seen myself get caught up in the pursuit of money for the wrong reasons. “Me, I work a simple job, I live in a simple house, I live a simple life, but every year I take a four-week vacation to somewhere I’ve never been.” I tell him this is why I just booked a three-week vacation to Europe, because I don’t think hubbie had ever taken the typically American two-week vacation, let alone a three-week vacation. I also consider it a small reward for all the down-sizing we’ve done over the last year; mostly out of necessity, but it’s definitely given me a different perspective on what a person needs versus what a person just wants.

RULES! Part 14.

hannah — Fri, 20 May 2011 16:30:34 +0000

86. If you want to just hit it and quit it. It's alright. Do it. Emperors have been doing it for years. 87. If you're going to drink Coke, drink the real thing. Not Diet Coke, not Cherry Coke, not Coke from a can, not Coke from a soda fountain, but Coke, in a bottle. 88. If you want to father a bastard lovechild...ahhh shit, I can't help you out with that one, but do read this: http://www.sexlifeandhannah.com/why-do-we-always-have-to-be-upstanding/

Why do we always have to be upstanding?

hannah — Wed, 18 May 2011 18:40:45 +0000

On the subject of Arnie, and I'm not saying it was "right" what he did, but what if one woman was just not enough for all that testosterone? I mean, come on, the guy is pumped from weights and god only knows what kind of supplements, and what if right at that time in his life, his wife wasn't giving it up? What if she was being stone cold in the sack? Or maybe she wasn't, but he was going through some kind of mid-life crisis? We can't always fight off our urges, because sometimes we just don't want to. Sometimes we've just reached a breaking point, or we just want to feel some feeling we haven't felt in too long, or we just don't want to be responsible for twenty minutes. It's just like the whole Hugh Grant with a prostitue thing. Yes, he was in a relationship with a rockin' hot super model, but maybe deep down inside, his biggest fantasy was to just once be with a nasty, dirty prostitute. What's wrong with that? Why do we always have to be upstanding in the face of society when human nature isn't always?