Posted by on Feb 26, 2010 in Relationships and Sex | 0 comments


Maybe I should have read the book before writing this blog post, and maybe I’ll pick up the book this weekend to further my musings; but, my experience of last night compels me to write about this today. As I drink lemon-ginger water to cure my hangover.

Last night a pick-up artist tried to pick me up. Yes, one of these secret society guys that classifies himself as a geek or loser that has little chance of ever scoring with the chick of his dreams. Or did at one time. Until he went through the twelve-step “become a stud” program and reversed his ill fate.

I was standing in a line at a club (hell), but I had promised an aquaintence I’d be there for her birthday party. There was some confusion with the reservation (surprise) and she wasn’t there yet, so I was stuck (lame). Suddenly a crew of four guys walks by. One of them opens, with some kind of compliment. OK that’s always nice to hear. And then tells me, he can get me into the club. I agree, because I’m pissed about the line, and this birthday chick is nowhere in sight.

Inside, he buys me a drink, which buys some conversation. He’s actually pretty cool, but I’m just not attracted. While we’re talking he confesses he’s a PUA, which buys more conversation, because I was working with Neil Strauss when he was writing The Game and met a lot of these guys.

At some point I wander away, for multiple reasons, and the next time this guy finds me he literally tries to plant one on me. When I duck, he tries to convince me to just kiss him once. Ummm…no. For multiple reasons.

I repeat my caveat that I have not yet read the book so maybe it addresses everything I’m already thinking, but quite frankly, isn’t the art of pick-up really the art of conversation? And the art of having the balls to start a conversation with someone you feel attracted to? And the art of knowing when to stop? And hence, what I like to call: The X Factor. Because I don’t care how smooth, awkward, or hot-or-not you are, the feelings have to be mutual. Ultimately, people end up together because they are both diggin’ on one another, and as with most animals in our kingdom, the female has the final say. It’s true gentlemen, no means no. But don’t give up, or take rejection too seriously because there is someone (and often many) out there for everyone.

I remember smoking a joint with Ireland once and delving into some deep thoughts over what attracts two people to be friends, lovers, or any of the numerous combinations. The answer: who knows. Sometimes you click with someone, and sometimes you just don’t, and there’s no real rhyme or reason for it. If I lined up the photos and resumes of everyone I’d ever been involved with, it would be a smattering of suits, jocks, nerds, and bad boys. I’ve loved them all, or felt compelled at least once to bone them. I have my deal-breakers (small penis) but no real “type”, and I’m not the only woman out there to feel that way.

So read, study, and join everything that will give you a confidence boost, because god knows like attracts like, and you want to feel and look your best to attract the best match. But remember, it’s not about the pick-up line, it’s really about just…you. And that random, crazy, surprising X Factor that the person you decide to hit on will feel the same way. And that’s coming from a girl who’s had the best in the business try to pick her up.